Tuesday, July 25, 2017

TRANSITIONS OF FRIENDSHIP



















































“Friendships come for a reason, a season or a lifetime and all have their place.” 

This was a highlighted statement in an article on friendships I recently read by Carrie Bickmore.
I didn’t want to believe this to be true. I know people come into your life for a reason and a season but I wanted to so desperately believe that friends are different and want to stick around. 

Almost to the day, a year ago, we left our home in Calgary, Canada, where we lived for a little under five years. Our son Ezekiel was born there. 
Enter: Major Life Transitions! (Plural!)
We are no strangers to transition and every one of them has its own flavour, triumphs and struggles. And this one has been the toughest yet!
A dear friend recently asked me,
“What is the biggest thing you have learnt in your current season of transition?”
There are so many things! I am still transitioning and so am still learning.
Days later, in the quiet of the evening as I continued to ponder over her question, it was this thought popped into my head;

“Everyone does relationships differently.”

Now, I know this is a very obvious thought but let me share mine with you.
Samuel and I LOVE people. We love random connections, we love conversations with strangers, we love to gather together and of course we love deep connections.
When we say to others “Wherever we are in the world, you are always welcome in our home.” We mean it with all our heart.

All our relationships are definitely not been based on geographical closeness. Yes, I am very aware that being able to connect face to face, coffee or wine in hand, helps but it does not and should not be the only people you share life with. We can all choose to have close friends near or far, it all depends on how much you are willing to give to make it work.
I know well that some people are worth fighting time zones for! 

I have dear friends all over the world. Some I have even met through social media!
There are some people you connect with more closely than others, some you gather around more often, and others you text with frequently.  

This season has been tough and unlike any I have encountered before. 
I have never had to grieve relationships shifting, changing or completely ending like I have within the past eighteen months. Maybe its me? Maybe it’s the stage of life? Maybe it’s my age? Maybe its not me? These are the questions I am asking myself daily.
I don’t even know how to, and yet I am finding myself in a place of having to let friends go. To watch our relationships shift, close and afar.
Even as I type this, the tears are rolling down my face. My heart is broken.
People, who became friends, are just becoming people again …

One of my sisters often accuses me of “having too many feels” Maybe she’s right. Maybe all this time I have simply been naïve in my thoughts of being connected ...

Our world is telling us to live busy lives, so busy doing the things, we negate time for true, deep intimate connection.
Are we brave enough to make an effort to reach out to others, to connect, to inconvenience our lives for the sake of others? How well do we really know each other?

When was the last time you reached out to someone with the pure motive of wanting to know how they truly are?

How willing are we to ask the question “How’s your heart?” Look into someone’s eyes and wait for a truthful answer?

How do you friend? 



S. xx

1 comment:

  1. LOVE when you blog. Can't wait to chat soon. Love and miss you. Xx

    ReplyDelete